When Bad Movies Go Bad

I recently had the misfortune of renting and wasting my money watching Kingsmen: Secret Service. Did I give too much away already?

I was watching this movie with my wife and she grunted in what I can only presume was disdain? disgust? disbelief? within the first 15 minutes. It felt like I was watching a Tea Party propaganda movie. The poor, downtrodden white male protagonist teams up with the rich white men and fights against the evils of the black man, who, even while rich, can't leave the street and eats McDonald's. 

It was at this point in the movie when I sincerely hoped they would all drown and the movie would be over. 

It was at this point in the movie when I sincerely hoped they would all drown and the movie would be over. 

Wait . . . wait . . . Let me add some good points before this turns into a downward spiral of hate. I though that Colin Firth was incredible in this movie, It was nice to see him in something more of an action piece and as an action hero. I would watch The King's Speech again in a heartbeat. That is about all I can say positive about this movie.

The movie had everything that I hate, and all of it within a dated model of a movie. The hero is a hetero white male and the only potential heroes are all white. There is one potential hero who is female, and she seems to be plagued by weaknesses that only the white male protagonist can help her overcome with his clever lower class street sense. 

Did I mention that it includes Obama as a willing lackey of the villain, and we watch our President's head literally explode on screen? You know what . . . I am so disgusted by the movie, I can't go on.

Fuck you, Mark Millar